Michelle Trachtenberg
Date of Birth
11 October 1985, New York, New York, USA
Birth Name
Michelle Christine Trachtenberg
Nickname
Mitchie
Height
5' 7" (1.70 m)
(More ....)
Just to enlighten you today...
1. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.
2. There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married - and now he is going thru hell.
3. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : 'Wife wanted'. Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing : 'You can have mine.'
4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
5. It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.
6. A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, 'If you don't promise to send us $100,000 I swear that we will kidnap your wife.' The poor man wrote back, ' I am afraid I can't keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours.'
7. 'What's the matter, you look depressed.' 'I'm having trouble with my wife.' 'What happened?' 'She said she wasn't going to speak to me for 30 days.' 'But that ought to make you happy.' 'It did, but today is the last day.'
8. When she is 18 - She is a football, 22 men going after her. When she is 28 - She is a hockey ball, 8 men going after her. When she is 38 - She is a golf ball, 1 man hitting on her. When she is 48 - She is a pingpong ball, 2 men pushing to each other.
9. At 20 - A man is like a coconut, so much to offer, so little to give. At 30 - He is like a durian, dangerous but delicious. At 40 - He is like a watermelon, big, round and juicy. At 50 - He is like a mandarin orange, the season comes once in a year. At 60 - He is just like a raisin, dried out, wrinkles and cheap.
10. In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
Sexiest woman on the planet.
Married to Brad Pitt.
Woman: I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
Man: I love you not because of who you are but what you have (big boobs)
Woman:No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
Man:No one is worth your orgasm, and the one worth cannot get your orgasm
Woman:Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Man:just because someone not interested in making love to you doesnt mean they dont have erection
Woman:A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
Man:true man is someone who reaches u r shoulders and touches u r breasts
Woman:The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
Man:The worst thing is sleeping besides someone and still cannot have sex
Woman:Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
Man:mastrubate and know your strenght before making love to gal and impress her
Woman:Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
Man:dont screw so fast , best is slow and steady
This poem was nominated by UN as the best poem of 2006, written by an African Kid
When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black
And you white fellow
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you gray
And you calling me colored?
Dedicated to all those married couples, and those planning to get married. Ha Ha Ha have a good mid-weekday!
Marriage Life Before and After !!
Before marriage,
'Darling here.. darling there...'
After marriage,
Baling here... baling there..
Before marriage,
'I die for you. . .'
After marriage,
'You die, up to you. '
Lagi lama married,
'You want to die I help you!'
Before marriage,
'You go anywhere. . I follow you.'
After marriage,
'You go anywhere. . up to you .'
Lagi lama married,
'You go anywhere better get lost!!'
Before marriage,
'you are my heart, you are my love'
After marriage,
'you get on my nerves. '
Before marriage,
'you are sweet and kind just like Cinderella'
After marriage,
'you are worse than godzila'
Before marriage,
'Roses are red, violets are blue. Like it or not, I'm stuck with you'
After marriage,
'Roses are dead, I am blue. You get on my head, I will sue you'
Before marriage,
Every makan he brings you to Shangri-La
After marriage,
You want to go, he says 'you wait-la'
Before marriage,
She looks like Anita Sarawak
After marriage,
Don't know whether katak or biawak
Send these messages to your online friends who need a good
laugh....................... esp if they are married......... !!!
Banana Airline
Guru tadika : Anak-anak, nampak tak pen ini?
Murid-murid : Nampak cikgu.
Guru tadika : Pen ada kan ?
Murid-murid : Ada cikgu.
Kemudian guru tadika tadi memasukkan pen itu ke dalam poket dia dan kemudian bertanya lagi..
Guru tadika : Anak-anak,nampak tak pen?
Murid-murid : tak nampak cikgu.
Guru tadika : pen ada tak?
Murid-murid : tak ada cikgu.
Guru tadika : Anak-anak nampak Tuhan tak?
Murid-murid : tak nampak cikgu.
Guru tadika : Tuhan ada tak?
Murid-murid : tak ada cikgu.
Guru tadika itu sangat gembira kerana tujuannya untuk mempengaruhi kanak-kanak itu berjaya. Tetapi.. dalam kumpulan kanak-kanak itu ada seorang budak yang pintar yang bernama Amin lalu dia pun mengangkat tangan...
Amin : Cikgu, boleh saya cakap sesuatu?
Guru tadika : Boleh,mari ke depan.
Amin : Kawan-kawan nampak cikgu tak?
Murid-murid : nampak.
Amin : cikgu ada kan ?
Murid-murid : ada.
Amin : Kawan-kawan nampak otak cikgu tak?
Murid-murid : tak nampak.
Amin : cikgu ada otak tak?
Murid-murid : tak ada.
.
Padan muka cikgu
Posts
